Speak Only Truth

So much going on in my life past few months. My phone’s screen cracks thus I can’t post here. I have been very lazy to open my laptop to write new entry. I basically just do everything on my phone (check email, visit JobStreet, scroll Facebook) except for one thing which is update my blog. It is annoying that WordPress app didn’t really focus on it’s tilt screen design.



I am done with my internship since February and I have been jobless since then. Can you imagine how my life would be? Okay, it is not entirely bad. I was just being a good-not-so-good housewife AKA maid. Nothing much is going there. I have sent about 20 resumes which I guess much lower than my friend and I don’t get any interview. However, one day I received a call that I get to join a training that comes with quite numbers of benefits (allowance 1k per month, a professional certificate on which course I applied and on-the-job training). Alhamdulillah.


It started last May. I was so excited, I finally have something to do rather than just being at home. Although I enjoy lying on the couch and watch movies non-stop but I better get busy. As mentioned by the organizer, I have to attend two months in-class training which sounds legit and fun. For the first months, we are taught about soft skills and so May ends. No allowance is received until now. We talked to the organizer, some discussion had been made, some explanation had been explained and finally one thing to be sure is that even they are not sure about our allowance. They are taking risk to mention about allowance while the main organizer stated that there will be no allowance.

Two more things arise, course that I have chose is yet to be started until August (which may or may not be true) because they said each courses need to have about 15 more participants. They didn’t even mention this until June. Another one is that this program should start on July or August based on the main organizer. Why would they hide all of these details? Why wouldn’t they speak the truth? Why would they play with people’s need?

One of us assume that they are afraid that we might left this program if they tell us to wait until July or August. But you know what? You have lied and because of your misconduct in managing all of these, I might or I will left this program.

One thing you shouldn’t play with is people’s need. One thing you shouldn’t make joke is people’s need.

Most of us are fresh graduate students who are very much in need for a job, in need of a place in any companies, and in need of money. We are excited to think of giving parents our salary. We are burdened with our study loan. We are in need, indeed. Don’t play with that and speak the truth.

In Islam, we have redha. It is an acceptance (fully accept) to whatever happens. If this is what it is, I accept it as a lesson for me and the organization. I accept it as for me to become strong and careful. I accept it as a sign from Allah that it is to Him and only Him I should put my trust. I accept it as a sign that He is planning something way better than this.


stay please

i have been busy and tired. finally, real working-life experience. usually i get bored with nothing to do on my work station.

but yeah, i have been busy. went to several floors frequently, involved in user testing, prepared documentation, updated master report. as my days were so packed with things, at home i just wanted to lay on my bed, watched Sherlock or read Harry Potter.

yes, finally i have the entire collection of Harry Potter books. e-books to be exact. for Potterhead out there, i am so sorry if my act owning e-books of Harry Potter is a shame but i got it somehow after several Googling activities, and so far the web page does not look illegal. so i thought, it is fine. do not worry that i will not advertise e-books that i have as it will always be my personal collection. sorry again.

i have lots of fun time mesmerising the very first emotion i had when i first read Harry Potter. i finished the first book just in one day and now i am on the second book. laughed and smiled all day whenever i encountered Ron’s dialogue.

so i am planning to write my review about the first book of Harry Potter, old issue right but it could be interesting for generation z. wish me luck on that.

potterhead forever!

the eyes

eye consists of pupil, nerve and bla bla bla. want to know more, ask medical student or Google. I know, I sound ignorant yada yada, okay i’ll google after this.

you can see things. duhhh, everyone knows that. you can make assumption through what you see. sounds genius, right? yet, first assumption does not allow you to make a conclusion. i sound amazingly genius, huh? through eyes, you can see much better picture than the highest megapixel phone can ever have. islamic notion here, of course our eyes is created by our mighty God, Allah. Alhamdulillah, i am able to use my eyes,  and those who are unfortunate, you are wrong, you are not unfortunate, actually, you know more than those who can see. you have your heart.

yet, that is not the reason of my post here. talking about how it is beneficial to us, so on and so forth. i want to talk about my failure managing my own eyes. scary? sound a bit psycho?

have you ever been so sleepy that even your hands, fingers are still writing or typing on a keyboard, your eyes just shut? seriously. have you? i do and i did. this is one of the most terrible things that can happen to me especially at office. it happen this morning.

i was in the middle of typing and suddenly my eyes just shut, but somehow, i feel my fingers are dancing on the keyboard. but i just let it be, cause i was so sleepy back then. unfortunately, a mister who is sitting in front of me came and i was then moved my hands faster and made a very serious face with big eyes and sit properly and ignore what just happen.

very very very terrible things to happen.

by the way, do you know how i cure my sleepy eyes? and yes after i istighfar, i opened Bones Episode 3 Season 7 on my phone and started to continue my task. it works. i didn’t watch it, i just listen. songs does not really been helpful lately. sad.

the chair


i prefer to do my assignments on a table with a chair. by the way, not the kind of chair above. nooo, that one just look pretty,vintage something like that.

i found myself more focus and suprisingly quite when i do my work. i also have this serious face when i am too focus in my work. my friends, who know me, say that i look mad when i am serious, in my work.

i just started my internship and this too-focus-too-serious face makes me worry. i am worry that my colleagues would think that i am in a bad mood or mad at work or any other misconception that they might think.

being an intern, you can not be 100% about yourself or you will not be able to get an offer, people will dislike you, so on and so forth. i just got my real task, so i have been busy because i have to submit it on Tuesday next week.

i thought sitting on the chair would be fine because i have done that before during my study but nope, it is not fine at all. my back, oh my God, it pains my back, my shoulders, my join, everything. i feel old already. my shoulder, i can’t even set it straight while in the bus.

working is not fun. if you are currently in university, studying, keep on study. study until you are old. the stress of working is on the new level. you are afraid all the time. study is fun. keep on.