A Clear Hint, perhaps?

So so so so so so. My love life. hahahha. No lahh, I have no one yet. So, I have been hitting on a guy. Lol, that sounds so not right and yaikks. But yeah, I am. Things I have done are ermmm I just texted work stuff and smiled and laughed at his jokes and yeah basically nothing. Nothing. But hey, I did update my WhatsApp status the abbreviation of his name, in Hangul, he should be like curious and look at it. But then yesterday, I had my internship presentation, he did look through window of meeting room and did good luck body language to me. That make me smile for days. Hahahaha. Sad things happen in between my moment of happiness. I overheard his colleagues teased him to get married with his colleague, hellooo, I am here okay, waiting for you. Hishh. That woman name is Shahirah, huh huh huh, Shahirah. Then, a close friend of mine, we work as a team and she is nice, she told me, she likes him too. What should I do? I am not saying that I have any future progress with him but we did text and he did say something sweet or funny to me which may be I am just get ahead of myself but yeah, its something, isn’t.. As for today, I bought a slice of cake for him, as my internship will end on Monday and he is nice,  he bought me (or us) pizza and he gave me Arabian Rice, so yeah to say thanks and to give a hint that I like you lah man. He replied short and sweet. So, now I am thinking to confess, or at least go for personal question.  Haaaaa, but about my friend here, should I told her that we both have feelings for the same guy. Should I…


Best Dream Ever

Urghhh, I am not sure if I should or shouldn’t write about this. Please, it is not 18sg or something, it is just too sweet. So sweet that I actually hoping that it can be true, one day. Remember a guy that I wrote in A Day of 2016,yeah yeah that one. Recently, we had couple of meetings at work and you know my new friends are so funny that the crazy me came out just like that. We laughed, he laughed and he teased me and he quoted my Facebook status every time. As a woman, an innocent like me, it is hard to think that those are nothing. Ok, somehow I do feel there is some interest going on with us. You know. So, yesterday, we laughed and he laughed too, he also talked some sense to me about me stay late at work. He said, I shouldn’t since I am just an intern. So on and so forth. Therefore, I feel a spark somewhere in me which it may not be special but it is something. Then came the night. I fall a sleep and I had this wonderful dream. The dream is like this.

I don’t know how it started but all I know he was sending me home. I told him that he don’t have to stop by, just drop and go. Then he suddenly get inside my house and greet my dad as if you know he is the one. He call my dad, dad. He call my dad, dad.

I know it is not really clear there but I hope those are true. I don’t know his attitude, I don’t even know if he is nice. But I do know, he kind of off-bit in whatsapp. He sounds serious and straight forward. I pray to God, please if he is the one, let it be easy and if he is the right, let it be true. If he already someone else, please show me the sign so that I can control this feeling.

The Guy Is Yet To Be Found

Talked about marriage, again. Yes, again. People are assuming that marriage can only be talked by, one who is planning a wedding, one who is married and one who was married. Especially in my culture, if you don’t have groom-to-be or we called it “calon”, you seems to have no right to speak about marriage. It seems that you are so eager to get married even though you have yet to have someone.

In term of Islamic point of view, I think this is absolutely not right. “Jodoh” or our fate on marriage is all depends on Allah permission, isn’t? So, when someone is yet to have someone or yet to get married, please don’t assume that they don’t want or no one wants them or you know, negative thought. It could be because it is still not his or her time to get married.

As in my case, yes, the guy is yet to be found. People keep on telling me that I am not looking. Keep on telling me that I have grouchy-cat face 24/7. Keep on telling me to loose my weight (that one I do want to loose my weight) and I am trying to make things right. If you are telling me my attitude is the problem, so why there are still divorce case, doesn’t that mean he or she is marrying one with negative attitude. But he or she is marrying his or her spouse, still. Isn’t?

Talk about other people’s fate seems to be a trend these days. If talk about attitude, Islamic ethic, problem in our culture, how rude younger people to the eldest, shouldn’t it be better?

A Day of 2016


Happy New Year.
How did I spent the very first day of 2016? Grocery shopping with mom. If you think it is dull, nahhh, you are wrong. Mom looks different today, she spent a lot. That’s new. Glad!

New year eve, not so much happening things happen around me. I spent by watching telly and Korean drama until 2 a.m. Just listen to the fireworks around the neighbourhood. It is not that I don’t fancy fireworks, I still amazed when I see one but I don’t run for it. Unless a guy make a surprise for me, then I’ll definitely run to him, not the fireworks. hahaha.

My 2015.
January was empty a bit. One of my roommate is done with her campus and pursued for her internship programme. Dad was admitted to hospital as he injured from motorbike accident. Alhamdulillah he is fine, even though he did say his knees feel a little strange. Hope it’ll get better soon. Months after that, we got all stressed out for our final year project. Our supervisor is good yet oh my God, her expectation and demands were just beyond our capabilities. We had some issues, unresolved till now. Sad though to finish it in an awkward way but she started it. We still managed to get B+ even though we made it to Top 10. Top 10, she simply said, it must be no other choices to be in the list. I don’t blame her 100%, unachievable expectation can hurt so much and she must be feeling so incomplete and stuff. She did help us get through this tough time, so we are sorry and thank you for everything. We had a blast 2015. Lots of thing actually. I remember it before I started to write this, and now I can’t. Short memory girl passing through..

I cried as I remembered. Two times last year, one because of a friend and one because of final year project. Mentioned it in last post titled, Friend That Go and in this post for final year project. Funny thing on 2015, okay uhmmmm, can’t remember any but I am pretty sure I had tons of it. Okay lets talk personal life.

I have no one as boyfriend until last December 2015 and still no one on the very first day of 2016. However, I just have someone in my mind, lately. A friend used to ask me, (when I talked about my crush, A), do you like him as if you want to marry him? I don’t know and I am not sure, I replied. Hahaha, yes I am not sure. But in this case, friend, I want to marry him. Yet, I don’t know how to approach him. It is complicated. I have no experience in this kind of thing. I think of him almost every second, minute and hour.

Basically that was how my 2016 ends. Thinking of him day and night. Looking at our conversation on WhatsApp last two days. Does he have no intention to ask me anything, like anything at all?

Being Selfish

Mom always, always, always, say that it will be hard for me to get someone who have values like her husband aka my dad. He is not perfect but for me, yes, it is hard to get a man like him these days.

History is history, I don’t care for the man he used to be but now, I see him much better than other men,young men. Pretty sure most of us think of our dad highly than others, no doubt on that, experience what makes someone better and your dad are amazing too. No hard feelings, okay. I just compare it with young gentlemen.

He don’t mind to do laundry from A to Z on weekend. Sometimes week days.
He loves to cook snack for us in the evening.  He can hear me, his daughter, talk about anything, problems and mom’s related issue (shhhh), and boys and marriage.
He laughs when I fought with my sister about who should clean up our cat’s poop.
He calms my heart when I was about to burst from disagreement with my mom.
He talks me some sense.
He let my mom have her own free time with her friends.

Why bold? Because this is what most young men couldn’t give to her spouse, I guess. We, women tend to lose our friends after each of them getting married, isn’t? Responsibilities here and there.
I am being selfish. I do say in my prayer, let my friends be my friends even when they get married. I wish I can get a man, of course good in religion, and also allows me to have some time-off from house chores and stuff.

I am being selfish to have all for me. To have their time for me. To have both family and friends for me.

I am being selfish.

Sleep Sleep

Sleep is the best thing ever after shopping.

Agree or disagree?

Productive days have its own productive days but when you aren’t productive and you really doesn’t feel like to be productive, there is nothing you can do about it.

We just want to lay around and close our eyes. Or even if we just look at the top of our ceiling, thinking about the past and future, that is enough. It simply means we just don’t want to do anything at all.

I am at that moment. Girls, you have to agree that we have this monthly moment where we would love to just lay around our comfy bed, watch movies and sleep.

But now I am attending a wedding by the pool. As it is by the pool, it calm my heart a bit, makes me forgotten all about sleep and bed.

Yeyy to wedding by the pool!

the marriage

i have been single for almost 24 years now and i am 24 years old last July. weird or normal?  minus my age when i was a baby, toddler and primary age, it has been 14 years to be exact.

of course we all want to have someone to love apart from loving our family members but after a while i feel comfortable being just by myself. i don’t need someone to drive me here and there, i can drive on my own. i don’t need someone to listen to me because i believe i have friends for that and even my mom and dad can listen too. yes, i talk to my parents almost about everything, school, crush, problems, friends and etc.

after some time i don’t even bother if i have someone to marry or not. yes, i feel the unnecessary to marriage. i can work, i can adopt if i want kids and yeah, basically all that idea in my mind.

however, the other day, i heard a talk in a radio about marriage in Islam. how important it is according to Prophet Muhammad’s sunnah. last night, i attended a talk about hijrah where as soon as Prophet arrived from Mecca to Madina, he performed marriages between Muhajirin (from Mecca) and Ansor (Medina local). it shows that through marriage, we can learn what we don’t know and we can help to popularise Muslims.

there i know, i have done wrong to myself which i unintentionally neglected the idea of marriage. i love how beautiful wedding can be; the bouquet, the dress, the food and the cake. so i do have the intention to get married before because i don’t really against it but just i feel comfortable with just myself. but now, i have cleanse my heart.

i believe that no matter how late it is, there is someone for me. he could be everywhere looking for me too. all i need to do is pray that one day there will be a road in front of him, looking at me, knowing that i am the one that he has been looking for and i will be there waiting in a beautiful dress.

the wedding

hey hey heyyy. no, it is not me getting married, no one is getting married. psss, i am available, still.

As for Muslim Malaysian, in order for us to get married, we have to take pre-marriage course. In here, we will learn about marriage, not just being lovey dovey (we all know that better) to your partner but management, problem solving, right hold by husband and wife, and many more.

today, my friends and i attend pre-marriage course. (MOM!! I can get married after this, find me someone.) ohh yes, i have no problem with traditional way of getting married. i do not know how to find, to star and where. it is a two day course, 8:00 a.m until 5:00 p.m. for non-Muslim, you may think this is probably waste of time and unnecessary. i can not change your what you believe but hopefully i can make you understand the importance in it.

we know how to date, how to love someone, how to express your love but that does not mean you know how to manage. in this class, we learn all those theoretically and based on Islam compliance. what should and should not do in marriage. being in love is great and getting married is happiness but it comes with bigger responsibility. to have a basic understanding and strong foundation of marriage management is vital.

apart from that, this course is amazingly fun and interesting. you get to hear stories of experience, tips and tricks to use in marriage. malaysians have to take this course and receives the certificate.

some important aspects to have a happy marriage are be understanding, give and take and always reminded yourself of your spouse’s good value whenever you have problems.