A Bit

“I know you always assume I take you for granted. I know you are feeling that all your effort is useless to my eyes. All my naggings are for you, I want you to be useful. When you are at grandma, do some work, don’t just sit and lay down doing nothing.”

“I did right, it is not I didn’t do anything at all. “

“That was because I asked you. I don’t want you to wait when I asked you, then you do. Find work by yourself. Sweep floor. Clean the kitchen.”

A bit uncomfortable to do chores at grandma’s, yes that is what it is when I stay at grandma’s. The thing is when I start to clean her kitchen, she’ll be worried about her stuff because when I start cleaning, I clean thoroughly and my mouth will be talking too. It just natural. I start to talk about “this shouldn’t be here. This should be put here. We have talked about this grandma, this jar should be in the room.”  That kind stuff. She doesn’t like it. However, for Eid or if it has been too long, I still do it because it something that should be done and yes, when my mom asked me to do. hahahaha. Yeah mom, you’re right. You win.

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Heyy, thing is I did. Okay, I think the reason why I was getting scold because I told her I didn’t bring my pad when I should because I just look my calendar and it was due. I was unprepared. Thus, it leads to old arguments that totally out of time. Therefore, women and men, be prepared. Especially, men. You know that you can run away from old arguments from us ladies if it start. Being unprepared may lead to this situation; you don’t want that to happen.

By the way, I had fun with mom this week. I must say, I have been terrible this weekend. We went to her friends’ open house for Eid; I was unlucky. I dropped a jar of cookie until the jar is broken. I accidently splash water to her her face which is of course unintentionally. She didn’t get mad. Sorry mom. It was just me, mom and my sister. We had fun filled up our tummy.

A bit of sorrow. A bit of happiness. That is life. In sorrow or madness, realisation of truth make us step backward and respect others. In sorrow and madness, a bit of unlucky events make us appreciate of what little happiness happen at the same time. It is also take a bit of our time to actually understand those. A bit.

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Best Moment vs Tragic Event

I have been meaning to write for days. I had been busy with wedding, stayed in a car for 10 hours journey. Back and forth to north and south.
Quick Update
I had fun with mom and dad, sister on our quick trip to Penang and Kedah, north of Malaysia. We visited War Museum which was found by Malaysian, it is an original place for British (then took by Japan) during World War II. This museum now officially under WWII organisation. If you ever come to Malaysia, do visit Penang for this particular historical site. It is amazing. The beauty of old engineer and architecture and it is a best place for those who are brave because they offer NIGHT VISIT!! 

 The youngsters, cousins and me as am adult, we walked inside a tunnel which was used to transfer guns and weapons. Khairina, 10 y/o, Ahmad, 16 y/o and me, we climbed a stair which I estimated to be about as high as a street lamp pole. This stair was used to bring out those weapons. It was and it is the best moment we had here at the museum. Luckily mom mentioned not to wear skirt.
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All of those weapons, roads or trails and seen as props are told to be real things.

Mom had a tough time in here, though. The journey back to Malaya was full of stairs and hills. Dad was half way because he had to go to Jumuah Prayer. However, we all had so much and it was worth it, worth than visit a zoo. Duh, Malaysian Zoo. Then, we had our lunch at Nasi 7 Benua. There goes my diet in a drain. It is unique and delicious. The we decided to have a walk, just a simple exercise after ate rice. We planned to search for street art.

Cousins and aunt and uncle were tired so they decided to go back to the hotel. We headed for Georgetown in Penang. As we reached, rain drops were seen, so no street art mehh, raining maa, so we decided to go to 3D Art Made in Penang. It was fun. Dad got all excited asked me to take his pictures and mom was all excited too. It was fun. Really fun. But then….

Before we arrived at 3D Art, my phone fall onto a hard cement plus rocky structure of road. It was horrible. Since then, I have no mood at all to type or scroll or update my Instagram or anything at all. Only now, I found the courage to face my phone and be friend with it again even if it does not work properly. Sad sad sad and tragic event for me. Screen of phone is damage on the right side, which affect certain letters on the touch keypad as well as I got no smiley buttons available and if I touch upper side of my phone on the right once, it will keep on result to as if I touch it repeatedly. Luckily I use auto detection for both English and Malay.
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I search ways to fix my phone, the cheaper one and so far I found RM200. Quite reasonable but when you have no budget, you just have NO budget. But I get all stress out when it keep on meddling with the screen, as if I touch it but I am not. I need my phone for work and of course mom didn’t know this. Scare to tell her. Better she didn’t know.

Being Selfish

Mom always, always, always, say that it will be hard for me to get someone who have values like her husband aka my dad. He is not perfect but for me, yes, it is hard to get a man like him these days.

History is history, I don’t care for the man he used to be but now, I see him much better than other men,young men. Pretty sure most of us think of our dad highly than others, no doubt on that, experience what makes someone better and your dad are amazing too. No hard feelings, okay. I just compare it with young gentlemen.

He don’t mind to do laundry from A to Z on weekend. Sometimes week days.
He loves to cook snack for us in the evening.  He can hear me, his daughter, talk about anything, problems and mom’s related issue (shhhh), and boys and marriage.
He laughs when I fought with my sister about who should clean up our cat’s poop.
He calms my heart when I was about to burst from disagreement with my mom.
He talks me some sense.
He let my mom have her own free time with her friends.

Why bold? Because this is what most young men couldn’t give to her spouse, I guess. We, women tend to lose our friends after each of them getting married, isn’t? Responsibilities here and there.
I am being selfish. I do say in my prayer, let my friends be my friends even when they get married. I wish I can get a man, of course good in religion, and also allows me to have some time-off from house chores and stuff.

I am being selfish to have all for me. To have their time for me. To have both family and friends for me.

I am being selfish.

dad laughed at my sudden statement

“hey, i’m going to Japan next year.” I read my cousin’s text repeatedly. she just went to China and South Korea, and now she told me she will be visiting Japan.

minutes later, there was me, wailed to my mom why am I still here? why can’t i go to South Korea. i can speak hangul, a bit. i have learn their food,  tradition and basic sentence such as where can i find a toilet. i know where to go, i already have a list of places there but why can’t i be there?

i wailed to my dad, cried with no tears mentioned about the same hot issue of tonight to him. dad, simple man, he said, “stop crying, you are 24 years old and you cry like a child”. okay this is where he laughed when i answered, “why can’t cry and be sad and manja ( coquettish behavior by women designed to elicit sympathy or pampering by men). I thought men love woman like me, manja and all that.” he laughed. but my manja does sound a liiiiitle bit annoying after some times.

so why can’t i be there? because Allah does not yet gives His permission to me. simple answer to a simple question. therefore, as a good Muslim (trying to be one, and still learning), i must accept this as my predestined. one day in the future, perhaps. or maybe He wants to send me to His places; Mecca and Medina before others. who knows right?

the reason why my dad laughed is unknown. whether my statement is correct or cute or wrong, i don’t know. all in all, i am in the middle of setting my mind into peace. bye all.

the laugh

whenever i saw something funny posted by 9gag or any funny video of animal, i remember her face and her laugh.

whenever i saw any quotes from harry potter or lord of the rings or the hobbit, it reminds of her. i know i can share all those things with her because those are her interest too but hobbit wins. i love harry potter.

we all thought, we would be able to have our intern here in KL together but her health condition does not allow her to but Alhamdulillah she is great now, she can even rode those thing with balloon fly by a boat.

when we first met, we were like, hi and hi back. just smile and walk but then oh damn she is funny and loves movie too. she loves to laugh (we all laugh because of her laugh) but sometimes she become quite and she said she just does not feel like talking.

for my far but close to heart friend, this post is for you. stay healthy and be safe.

the chair

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i prefer to do my assignments on a table with a chair. by the way, not the kind of chair above. nooo, that one just look pretty,vintage something like that.

i found myself more focus and suprisingly quite when i do my work. i also have this serious face when i am too focus in my work. my friends, who know me, say that i look mad when i am serious, in my work.

i just started my internship and this too-focus-too-serious face makes me worry. i am worry that my colleagues would think that i am in a bad mood or mad at work or any other misconception that they might think.

being an intern, you can not be 100% about yourself or you will not be able to get an offer, people will dislike you, so on and so forth. i just got my real task, so i have been busy because i have to submit it on Tuesday next week.

i thought sitting on the chair would be fine because i have done that before during my study but nope, it is not fine at all. my back, oh my God, it pains my back, my shoulders, my join, everything. i feel old already. my shoulder, i can’t even set it straight while in the bus.

working is not fun. if you are currently in university, studying, keep on study. study until you are old. the stress of working is on the new level. you are afraid all the time. study is fun. keep on.