If You are Here

If I’m yours.

It will be awkward at first. If we were on our fist date, I may just keep myself shut. I don’t really know how to deal with such situation.

What should I say? 

What should I ask? 

Should I ask? 

or Should I just listen? 

Is it okay for me to eat this? 

Am I being too straight forward about my opinion? 

Do I have to stop being me for a while? 

Do this will work?

I don’t know. It has to be awkward; I must say. That will be the first for me. Just me and a guy. 

After several times, if I am comfortable enough, I may tell you stories, I may ask stupid questions but frankly speaking, I guess I still feel awkward. I will always be. 
Bad mood? Yes, you will have to deal with it. I nag about things; work, ideas, and could be about you too. Everyone has their own bad day, I am pretty sure you have your own bad day too. I’ll try to keep my chin up and deal with it. So did you. 
If you ask me about my past, I can only tell you, I have no past relationship because it is the truth. One-sided love? Yes, plenty of it; I can tell you if you can share yours. Jealousy, even I strongly believe (for now) I may not, but I also believe that I will be jealous. You should be proud if I did, because it shows that I care. No worries, I’ll try to keep it sane. 

Materialism. No, I am not the kind of woman who look into brand. You’ll be happy with me because I always take a look of price tags before I decide. Hipster cafe, not really. If I can get delicious chicken chop at RM10, why would I pay double for different plating. However, that does not mean I don’t want though. I spend more money on food rather than on clothes. Especially Korean dishes. Ooppss, but don’t worry because I can always go Dutch. We can split the bill. 

Only few know about this. My closest friends know this. I keep myself shut and tight at home if I don’t have money. Some people left me out, since I always say no, but I hope you didn’t. If my closest friends can understand me saying no, why can’t you, right? Since you will be closer to me than my friends. 

I love to fight about ideas. I always have debate with my parents. They call it being stubborn but I assume it to be a debate. After all, we talked about ideas, don’t we? There is no winning or losing but the adrenaline rush that you get during discussion is satisfying. You may look forward to more discussions. You should just let win because it may be hard for me to stop. It’ll keep coming back; the topic. 

Credit to NatGeo, found on Facebook

Parents. One of the reasons for you to be chosen is that you can can friend friend with ayah. Not that I’m saying his lonely what so ever; he has friends more than me I guess, it is just sad to see him working things at home alone. I did offer to help him with his work like cutting woods or tidying his garage but he always says no. So, perhaps if you were there, you can help him. Ibu will glad too to have you. She favors outsiders. I’m joking. hahaha. 

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