*Ironing tons of clothes*
“You never ease my work when you are at home”
*Folding some clothes*
“You never help me at all”
*Vacuuming and sweeping the floor*
“It will be easier if you are not home at all”
These are the words that slip from her mouth whenever either I forgot to wash some clothes or if I swept the floor a bit late once in awhile or if I have not finish folding clothes before she arrived home.
“Why does she always say that?”
“She has always been like that when she’s mad”
“Can’t you say something about it?”
“I don’t want to prolong the fight, just be patience. ”
” You know, these are the reasons why I want to stay at mahallah sometimes.”
“……..”
I used to think that one day I want stay alone at my own house. I used to have the idea of leaving. Years by years came along, I have grown up to 25 years old and I love her unconditionally. Yet, it comes with sacrifice. As I grow up, as my man always remind me to be patience, I am being patience but I am a human and I am not perfect. That idea comes back. That wish to leave comes back. I still love her unconditionally.
I want to be in paradise. With her and him. I am afraid of hellfire. I don’t want to go to hell. I told myself, “Who likes imperfection?” I don’t like imperfection. I am particular in whatever I did at work. I guess it is the same for her. She dislike imperfection. There is nothing wrong with that, it is preference.
Written in The Other Side of The Coin by Aiman Azlan and Ameen Misran,
In Surh az-Zumar verse 10 the translation, Allah mentioned to the believers that as a slave, fear only to Him. Do good and get good rewards. Be patience and get reward in full beyond your dreams.
I want both.
I have decided to be quite and ask her for forgiveness of any imperfection have I given to her. I pray, Dear Allah, please let her heart full of patience and forgive all of her mistakes cause she is a human and she is a very very very good person at home, to the elders and to the community.
The pain is there when those words listen by my ear and goes to my heart. I guess I just have to be patience and trust Him.
achildishwoman 